Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The ATEC

Months ago I found out about a free online exam, the ATEC (Autism Treatment Evaluation Checklist) made by the Autism Research Institute (it is statistically reliable) that evaluates the efficacy of any treatment you are using on your child based on your report of their "autistic symptoms". The lower the score, the better. This checklist evaluates areas such as speech/communication, sociability, sensory/cognitive awareness, and health/physical/behavior.

On January 12, 2009, Kaylee scored a 50 on the ATEC.

On June 11, 2009, Kaylee scored a 12!!!!

If you are interested in scoring your own child with the ATEC you can find this here.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Kaylee and Mommy Update (A long-winded post)

When I have been thinking about what to post on my blog lately, I feel like I am a dry well. Not because things aren't happening, but because I am totally and utterly spent. For weeks I have been in survival mode. My creative juices were drying up and I felt like I couldn't write a good post. Exhaustion and a perfectionism like that make for a no-posting kind of blog.

I have been determined not to make this a place where I vent and complain about my circumstances, my purpose for this blog is to honestly document my journey in living with and attempting to heal my daughter's autism.

So here is an update of whats going on: Kaylee is doing great! I can't say it enough. She is so easy to get along with, tantrums are nonexistant, she is effortlessly potty-trained, she's happy, interacting, playing, in the "that's mine!" stage.

As for me, I am struggling. This story started over two months ago, Kaylee's behavior was impossible and I was frazzled. Every free moment I was either taking Kaylee to stressful allergy testing appointments, attempting to cook new foods for her (and failing) and there were many other commitments I was trying to keep, besides caring for 3 very young children.

I was so stressed out I felt like I couldn't rest. Even if I was sitting still, I felt worried and wound up. I felt like I was always on the edge.

I felt so alone, I had no peace. When I read the bible it felt like hollow words to me. The words of my prayers seemed to drop like cement the minute they left my lips. I felt weary and burdened.

I remember telling Dan, my husband, I had this vague sense that something was really wrong with me, but I couldn't figure out what exactly it was. A few days later a peculiar rash appeared on my legs, and my feet swelled up. I was concerned but when I woke up the next day the rash had gotten worse and spread.

I went to the doctor and finally after many tests they figured out that I had vasculitis. That means my immune system was attacking my own blood vessels. The doctors had to check me for some serious diseases, like lupus and cancer, which came out negative. It was quite a scare for me.

But even today, 6 weeks later I am left with the aftermath of this illness. I have very painful sores on my legs and feet and its very difficult for me to get through each day. I have to go to wound care specialists a few times a week, because my skin isn't healing very well.

I am not sharing this to get pity, I am just trying to be real about what my life has been like. Times have been hard lately. The most difficult part was when I felt like God was so far away. The truth is, it was me who was far away.

It occured to me though, that everyone goes through hard times. As far as I know, the death rate is 100%. Everyone's health fails at some point in their life. Being a christian does not save me from trials and troubles. That is a far cry from what some of the pastors are preaching today. How disappointed are so many people when God doesn't give them what they want or when He doesn't save them from their circumstances? How many will have a love that waxes cold because they only know the gifts and not the Great Giver?

I think these circumstances brought me to a new level of fellowship with God. I feel pleasantly broken. Yes, that's the best way I could put it. I was very humbled by my circumstances and I reached out to God and accepted with joy, His will for me at this time. After that I felt so free!

The Good Lord is forcing me to rest (I have to have my feet up as much as possible). He is forcing me to trust Him. He is forcing me to ask Him for strength to get through each day (sometimes its each hour). He is forcing me to reassess my priorities. Yes I may have sticky floors and two bathroom sinks that need cleaning. I am learning to be okay with that.

Gee I think I have been all over the place on this post. I apologize. It's the best I could do right now.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Kaylee is 4 now! And a whole lot different...

This week, Kaylee turned 4.

To many other parents, birthdays are nice and a joyful time...
but this birthday, to this parent, this year, was so special.

This year, Kaylee was here. She was with us in a way I wondered if she ever could be.

Today, I am thinking about Kaylee's birthday last year. She was sad. She was unhappy. She didn't understand what was going on. She ignored everyone who came to see her. She just didn't get it.

This year she asked me all day when we were going to have her birthday party. She excitedly hugged everyone as they came in, running out side to greet them. She drank in, with joy, as everyone sang Happy Birthday. She knew she was the special girl of the day. She was so happy.

This year we asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She replied, "ummmm...a birthday cake...and sprinkles...and candles....and Auntie Cher and Grandpa to come over!" I got right to it and made her special cupcakes that she could tolerate, and thankfully, she loved them, and her Auntie and Grandpa are so tickled to finally get some much anticipated attention from her!

The changes in Kaylee are unbelievable, when I think about where she was a year ago, we are so blessed to have come this far.

Now, the new problem is...this girl asks me if we are going to have a party everyday!