I have been thinking I should change my blog name from "Blooming where God Plants me" to something else, because lately I have not been blooming, it's more like wilting. I would feel hypocritical and unreal to say that sometimes these neverending challenges and discouragements don't get me down.
Kaylee is doing BAD, behaviorally speaking, and it's really bumming me out. I don't understand what is going on. She was doing great when I cut out eggs from her diet and now I am back where I started.
I would love to put a video clip of how she is acting on here, but I don't want to embarrass her for the sake of me getting some sympathy. Hopefully, someday she would get mad at me for exposing her like that.
Something is very wrong with her and no matter if I am patient with her or if I get mad she is still acting very bad. Her behavior is so bad, I can't play with her, I can't change her diaper, I can't take her anywhere. So if you don't hear from me for awhile on here, now you will know why. Please pray for me.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Training Up Our Children
These past few weeks have been particularly trying, in respect to Kaylee's behavior. Everything is a fight, and her will is very strong. She doesn't want to do anything she is asked to do.
For example, we took her to a fun McDonald's Play Place this week, and ordered her a burger without the bun which she normally has no problem eating. This time she decided to put up her dukes and not eat. So we left her at the table and she could not play until she ate the burger. She screamed and screamed so we left McDonalds. She screamed more.
But I was still not backing down. She knew exactly what was going on. We went home, and she went in a high chair I placed the burger in front of her and sat with her and told her "I love you Kaylee, you are such a good girl" while she ate that burger with joy.
For those people out there who wonder, is she just a mean and cold person? Why is she telling this story? This is for all of the mama's out there who think that they can't discipline or train their child because they have special needs (or any other excuse...and there are lots of them if you want to find them!) Don't let your child bowl you over because you feel sorry for them or are afraid they don't understand. They need you to be their parent.
Did you know that the bible says if you spare the rod (or do not discipline) you actually hate your child (Proverbs 13:24)? Why would God use such harsh words? Surely we love our children...that is why we do not want to cause them pain...
But the word of God tells us that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child...so should we let them be the boss? No.
God's word also says to train up a child in the way he should go. Do I want my child to continue on her own foolish way? No. I want her to respect and obey. Because if she isn't taught to obey me now, she will not obey me in the future, and surely not her Heavenly Father.
God uses the word hate because we rob our children of their future if we do not train them today. The consequences are great. Our small consequences now can save them from grave consequences in the future. That is why it says in the bible that if we love them, we will chasten them (Prov. 13:24). Even our Lord Jesus Christ chastens those whom He loves (Rev 3:19). Let us be like Him and love and train our children.
This does not mean that we as parents, have to employ spanking always in our discipline, but that we make all of their negative attempts to get what they want counterproductive. An example of this is a child screaming/kicking/crying to get a cookie. If we give in to their bad behavior and give them a cookie, we are actually reinforcing that behavior. When I encounter this from Kaylee, I slowly and kindly say, "No Kaylee, you don't get a cookie when you scream and cry like that. You need to ask nicely next time."
Then I brace myself and ask God for strength and wisdom while she gets upset. I just trust what God says in His word, and I trust that what I am doing is for her good, then I can be strong and handle her "not liking me" for the moment.
If you would like more ideas on disciplining your child, special needs or not, try this book, it has a lot of creative solutions on how to deal with problem behaviors in toddler to teenage years.
For example, we took her to a fun McDonald's Play Place this week, and ordered her a burger without the bun which she normally has no problem eating. This time she decided to put up her dukes and not eat. So we left her at the table and she could not play until she ate the burger. She screamed and screamed so we left McDonalds. She screamed more.
But I was still not backing down. She knew exactly what was going on. We went home, and she went in a high chair I placed the burger in front of her and sat with her and told her "I love you Kaylee, you are such a good girl" while she ate that burger with joy.
For those people out there who wonder, is she just a mean and cold person? Why is she telling this story? This is for all of the mama's out there who think that they can't discipline or train their child because they have special needs (or any other excuse...and there are lots of them if you want to find them!) Don't let your child bowl you over because you feel sorry for them or are afraid they don't understand. They need you to be their parent.
Did you know that the bible says if you spare the rod (or do not discipline) you actually hate your child (Proverbs 13:24)? Why would God use such harsh words? Surely we love our children...that is why we do not want to cause them pain...
But the word of God tells us that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child...so should we let them be the boss? No.
God's word also says to train up a child in the way he should go. Do I want my child to continue on her own foolish way? No. I want her to respect and obey. Because if she isn't taught to obey me now, she will not obey me in the future, and surely not her Heavenly Father.
God uses the word hate because we rob our children of their future if we do not train them today. The consequences are great. Our small consequences now can save them from grave consequences in the future. That is why it says in the bible that if we love them, we will chasten them (Prov. 13:24). Even our Lord Jesus Christ chastens those whom He loves (Rev 3:19). Let us be like Him and love and train our children.
This does not mean that we as parents, have to employ spanking always in our discipline, but that we make all of their negative attempts to get what they want counterproductive. An example of this is a child screaming/kicking/crying to get a cookie. If we give in to their bad behavior and give them a cookie, we are actually reinforcing that behavior. When I encounter this from Kaylee, I slowly and kindly say, "No Kaylee, you don't get a cookie when you scream and cry like that. You need to ask nicely next time."
Then I brace myself and ask God for strength and wisdom while she gets upset. I just trust what God says in His word, and I trust that what I am doing is for her good, then I can be strong and handle her "not liking me" for the moment.
If you would like more ideas on disciplining your child, special needs or not, try this book, it has a lot of creative solutions on how to deal with problem behaviors in toddler to teenage years.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Another Piece of the Puzzle
I have been experiencing too many problems with Kaylee and I knew something has been wrong. She had recently begun taking Singulair for allergies and Lexapro to help restore blood flow in the brain. But Kaylee became hyperactive, excessively irritable (notice I said excessive, she usually has irritability anyways), and I couldn't reach anyone to find out what to do because of the holidays! First I stopped giving Kaylee the Lexapro, and the problems persisted so I discontinued the Singulair.
I just knew something still wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it, so to speak. Three days after we stopped the Singulair, Kaylee had hives.
Day after day this kept happening, each day getting worse, with Kaylee's hives getting bigger and her behavior getting worse. She started to get diarrhea and her nose kept on dripping and she was not sick. When I thought about it, I noticed a pattern emerging: it was happening after certain meals...Kaylee never displayed any with foods before, but now everytime she eats anything with strawberries she has an allergic response.
Now that Kaylee's immune system isn't needing to address her viral and yeast issues because of the medications she is on, her allergies are flaring up.
Right now I am scaring myself a bit, because I am wondering if Kaylee needs the Elimination Diet to identify any other possible triggers. Our number one priority in the NIDS Protocol is to cool down the immune system, and if the foods she is eating are causing an immune response, we have to find a way to decrease it. If her immune system continues to act up, and even more difficult, I believe that she may need the Rotation Diet to prevent any new allergies to food.
Maybe I will make a post explaining more about food allergies and more about the basics of immune system function soon. I need to brush up on some of it myself. I believe it is extremely important to understand the immune system if you have a child with autism because it is a key issue, if not one of the most imporant one.
If you want to do some research into food allergies yourself, check out the book Is This Your Child by Dr. Doris Rapp.
In the mean time, may God bless you richly with His wisdom! (James 1:5)
-Jennie
I just knew something still wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it, so to speak. Three days after we stopped the Singulair, Kaylee had hives.
Day after day this kept happening, each day getting worse, with Kaylee's hives getting bigger and her behavior getting worse. She started to get diarrhea and her nose kept on dripping and she was not sick. When I thought about it, I noticed a pattern emerging: it was happening after certain meals...Kaylee never displayed any with foods before, but now everytime she eats anything with strawberries she has an allergic response.
Now that Kaylee's immune system isn't needing to address her viral and yeast issues because of the medications she is on, her allergies are flaring up.
Right now I am scaring myself a bit, because I am wondering if Kaylee needs the Elimination Diet to identify any other possible triggers. Our number one priority in the NIDS Protocol is to cool down the immune system, and if the foods she is eating are causing an immune response, we have to find a way to decrease it. If her immune system continues to act up, and even more difficult, I believe that she may need the Rotation Diet to prevent any new allergies to food.
Maybe I will make a post explaining more about food allergies and more about the basics of immune system function soon. I need to brush up on some of it myself. I believe it is extremely important to understand the immune system if you have a child with autism because it is a key issue, if not one of the most imporant one.
If you want to do some research into food allergies yourself, check out the book Is This Your Child by Dr. Doris Rapp.
In the mean time, may God bless you richly with His wisdom! (James 1:5)
-Jennie
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Awwwww!
Yesterday, a dream came true for me...
Kaylee came up to me and said "I want a kiss" and puckered right up to me!
It gets better...
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Then she said "I wuv you."
And there's more!!!!
She sat in my lap and put her head on my chest and let me hold her! I tried not to distract her with the tears in my eyes, I was afraid she would leave and the moment would pass.
The last time Kaylee reached out to me like that, was on a warm summer night and Dan and I went for a walk, and Kaylee was on my shoulders. Then she turned my head toward her and kissed me... That was over 2 and a half years ago. Yesterday, I saw my baby again and my heart is so happy.
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